![]() My parents are a good example: the damage wrought by their secret started before my brother and I were born, a time when there wasn’t even anyone to conceal the secret from. And these harms can begin the very moment you decide to keep a secret. These experiences can leave us feeling helpless, at the mercy of our secrets, and unable to cope. Simply thinking about a secret outside of a social interaction is associated with feelings of shame, isolation and inauthenticity. While hiding a secret in conversation can feel uncomfortable, the hiding turns out to be the easy part. ![]() Our secrets often hurt us, but not for the reasons you might think. Keeping a secret is associated with lower life satisfaction, lower-quality relationships, and symptoms of poor psychological and physical health. And, while the revelation for me was jolting, the greater impact and harm came to my parents themselves. But I had not been the keeper of the secret for all those years. And it was even more shocking to learn that my brother was, in fact, my half-brother, conceived from a different donor. It was shocking to learn that I was not biologically related to my father nor his parents with whom I was very close. I was 26, and if you’re wondering what it’s like to learn such a major secret, I’ll tell you this: it was surprising. I know the story of Don and Judy’s secret well because I’m their first child, and I learned about this secret the same day I gave an invited talk about my research on secrecy for a job interview. This was a secret they promised to each other that they would never tell.įor the past decade, I’ve studied the psychology of secrecy. They were going to have two children, and they would never tell their children that their father was not biologically related to them. And, even before they found one, they had already decided. But, after a few attempts, they realised that they would have to adjust their plan. Don and Judy were finally ready to start a family. One of the sayings to popularize the phrase is the WWII slogan Loose lips sink ships but apparently the phrase was also used by Virginia Woolf (1882-1941).It was the beginning of the late 1980s. Loose-lipped is another colloquialism for the concept, if not one you're likely to find in a dictionary. not "judicious in one's conduct or speech, especially with regard to respecting privacy or maintaining silence about something of a delicate nature."Ī blabbermouth is not exact, since a blabbermouth can talk too much about things that aren't secrets, but the phrase usually does imply a person who wouldn't be able to 'keep it in' while blabbering if they were in possession of a secret.īut it's a bit closer than a plain indiscreet which can and does also apply as frequently to conduct not just talk, and more importantly can refer to being careless with one's own affairs and secrets, not just others'. ![]() And a backbiter can backbite in more ways than tattling - he can just spread uncomplimentary information (true or false) unrelated to actual wrongdoing.Īn English word for someone who can't keep a secretīlabbermouth: a person who talks too much, especially indiscreetly. (eta) chugali is entirely defined as tattling and telling tales in this Hindi-English dictionary I just discovered.Ī sneak is regional and also implies cowardliness, and a snitch can often specifically imply one informing the authorities such as the police. ![]() ![]() Of the above words, tattletale and the other highly similar synonyms related to tattle come closest to the way your given word is used. Source of words from and source of meanings is from backbiter: one who speaks unfavorably or slanderously of a person who is not present.snitch: Also called snitcher an informer.sneak: British Informal tattletale informer.tattletale: someone who gossips indiscreetly.So the question's premise itself seems wrong.Īn English word meaning the same thing as chugalkhor: More like somebody who is actively complaining about / revealing others' wrongdoings, not 'not keeping secrets'. First thing I would like to point out - chugalkhor doesn't seem to just mean 'can't keep a secret'. ![]()
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